Friday...and there's SUN!!

I want to jump...I want to run....well, ok....I really just want to go wash the car! Problem is...my shoulder is so bad, I can't manage it. I'd go do the drive thru thing..but the car is SO BAD...I don't think it would look good. It's one of those times when you've just got to get a good scrub going. Guess I'm gonna have to guilt Allen and/or Owen into it.
I walked around outside a little while ago. The moles are working. Where do they go when it's freezing and the ground is hard??? Wish they would dig to China...and stay there! A few years ago...a mole dug a tunnel all the way to my pool....one day it was all beautiful and sparkling....the next morning I looked out...and it was dry as a bone! Yep...stupid mole bit a hole in it.....hope he drowned!!
Think I'm getting spring fever.....I want to plant flowers....I want a huge garden....I want to mow the yard.... AND THEN...I wander: what is going to happen with this bad shoulder? I know I can't do any of these things if I don't get it fixed. I'm still waiting to hear from the MRI what's wrong with it. UGH...I shutter to think of surgery. I wish like crazy that if they put me to sleep....they could do a breast reduction...AND shoulder repair at the same time....is that possible??? Hmmmmm maybe...
I shiver at the thought of being at the mercy of Allen. Can you imagine Allen washing and blow drying my hair? Helping me with my makeup? Getting me dressed? (I may have a heart attack..) Have you also noticed I like to use a lot of dots........??? LOL
I've been looking at the old laptop and looking at old pictures. Wow, the babies have grown so much. I made myself sit down and order a bunch of pictures from snapfish. They are to put in Sophia's album. If I don't make one...she won't have one of her childhood at all. I know that Diana and Owen aren't keeping anything for her. I try to keep records and pics of all her stuff. I wonder what she'll think when she's grown. Maybe I'll write her a letter and place in her baby book to be opened when she's 21.
OK, time to stop this and go pay some of those glorious bills. Thank you Lord for the brilliant blue skies.....and the SUN!!!

Thurs Nite

It's been a long day....Sophia has had an awful cough and head/chest full of congestion. Her nose has been running for seems like a month. Her cough was so bad that I had to ask Owen to take her to the dr. He gets so frustrated because he says (and it's true) that the drs nowadays won't give antibiotics hardly at all. I told him I would take her in. I dressed, and we dressed her and away we went. It took about an hour. He said her chest was ok, but she does have at least one ear infection (rt) and he thought perhaps the other also...(ear wax). He said it's time for tubes. She's had fluid in her ears since last October. He'll send her to an ENT Dr. She's been asleep most of the afternoon. I pray she gets to feeling better.....He gave her augmentin.
Allen wrote an email this afternoon to Jordan's aunt. He explained what had happened...what we had done...what he had done. She forwarded the email to Jordan's adopted (x) dad. They both responded with emails. They of course were apologies...of course they have been thru this a million times with him. It's done....it's buried....
I'm excited....tonight a new Project Runway started. I have been waiting soooo long for the new tv shows to start!@!! woohoo. Also the show Leverage started last night. I asked Denise to watch P. Runway with me so we can discuss it!!!! I should have called Linda too. HOpe she catches it. My phone is dead....need to plug it in.....
Tomorrow I was hoping to get a bunch of things done...but looks like Sophie may still be home sick. sooooooooooo we'll see.....
When I was driving So. to the dr. today...I heard a GREAT song on the radio... It said....."We don't have to walk on water............It's how we walk on land that counts". I loved it.

more tuesday

Just had a wonderful bath....ummmm. Nothing like a nice bath...with good smelling stuff. Bath and Body Works smelly stuff. Yum....Shame nobody is here to smell me!!! LOL Although...I smell good....I'm in long underwear, baggy knit pants that are too big and comfy, Allen's long sleeve tshirt and a fuzzy vest that doesn't match.....and to top off the onsemble...(sp) a pair of those thick sock things that you get from the hospital with the gripper things on the bottom. SEXY!!!! But................... I smell good!!!! Oh..............and I put on makeup....... I alway try to put on makeup. Although I'm out of my good makeup...so now I'm down to the cheap kind. I have tried to teach my girls to always fix their face.....just because.....think of the poor people....namely your loved ones that have to look at you all day!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that my parrot has decided that he likes to sleep in my rocking chair? I think his cage bars are cold.....poor Freddie. I took a picture....maybe I'll try to post a picture.
I also want to try to post a picture of Sophia and her first skirt. I'll have to admit...the skirt was cuter on the hanger....than it was on her. First it kept slipping down over her belly. Second....she kept yanking it down. I must say tho..........she was adorable......she always is...........
OK, enough..........see ya

Tuesday morning

Good morning! Woke up with a little headache.....but a cup of coffee and a couple Excedrin Migraines seem to help! I think the weather is changing and that always triggers the headaches! Now the sun is peeking thru!!!!! Woohoo!!!! In the winter....that is a TREAT!!! It's a sure fire cure all for me.....!! Thank you Lord!! Oh how funny.....as I looked down from the sun...I see it's snowing too!!
Allen took me to the movies last night. We saw the Blind Side. I had been wanting to see it since it came out. I felt kind of bad when we were in the car....and Allen said..."I'm not sure this is the best time for us to see a movie about people taking in a boy in need." I could still feel the pain in his voice. I said.....well, this is a different story.....let's just see it and try to enjoy it. We did enjoy it, but I have to admit......there were many times.....I wanted to cry.....because I knew exactly what the Mom who took the boy in was thinking and feeling. So it definately was bittersweet for us. The difference between them and us.....the boy they were helping was not crazy. LOL
We are doing much better. Allen did go yesterday and took the final step towards untangling himself from Jordan. He stopped being his payee. Jordan got another man (who in the past has taken advantage of Jordan) to be his payee. We can't do anything about it.........so.........we are done.....completely. End of subject. Everyone at church has been nothing but loving and caring and understanding to us. Of course there is always the one.....person who hugged me close......and whispered in my ear.............I told you so............but........whatever.
We will not let us stop our work for the Lord. Yes, it has taught us some lessons. No, it has not killed out spirit.
I'm setting my goals on digging out the junk in my house this year. Less is more. I wish I could have a big dumpster in my driveway!!! I think I would just load it up. So instead,,,, I think I'll just load up a few big bags at a time.....and take them to goodwill. One bite out of the elephant at a time!!
OK, enough.....hope all of you are having a good week. Stay positive...do something nice for someone......smile!!...........I love you all.

Good Morning

Woke up to yet another freezing, white day. Actually Fred (the parrot) woke me up. He was upstairs on the sun porch......screeching. I think he was cold....and wanted me to come and turn the gas fireplace on for him. Than he asked for a cracker..... spoiled brat.!! I do love him. He makes me laugh. I'll be somewhere in the house and I'll hear my daddy's voice.....saying something silly......(Fred). It makes me feel like Daddy is here with me.
Allen took me out for supper last night. I had not been out of the house in three days. I don't drive very much when the weather is bad. Plus Allen seems to drive my car most of the time now. Sometimes it bothers me.....but mostly I want him to be comfortable. We ate at Olive Garden....it was great. I did NOT have my usual....Eggplant Parm. I got the stuffed chicken marsala. It was FABULOUS. It came with garlic parm. mashed potatoes. Allen ordered garlic shrimp something over pasta. He ate a little of it.....and after I had him taste mine. He pushed his plate aside (to take home) and we both ate my plate. YUM We took Allen's plate home and Owen ate it....when he came in. Sophie was with her mom last night. We get her this morning.....
Allen took me to JoAnn's fabric last night. I picked out fabric to make the extra bedroom into Sophia's room. She has always been with Owen.....he has never wanted the crib moved. He is now ready to let her go to another room...... I found some fabric for her curtains that's beautiful. It's choc. brown with pink roses... then I got some gorgeous dusky pink silky stuff with a brownish tint....to gather and put over the windows for her french doors. I also got some pink/brown coodinating fabrics to cover her bumper pads, etc. It is girly...I can make it more baby with pink stuff. I love it. Can't wait to fix it.
That's about it....not sure what today holds. May our Lord be with each of you....keep you safe and warm.

After two extra days and nights of Jordan having to be with us....................
Allen finally found him a tiny apartment. Allen loaded up all his new clothes and all the things that we have bought him....and at 4 pm yesterday.....Jordan left.
Allen got him moved and then forced him to say what he really left for. Here's the reason:
Jordan felt like we were taking advantage of him.........and his money. (he has no money)

I won't be writing anymore on here for awhile...... Allen and I will take time to heal............

Please pray for us....................................

Love you

I'm low today......

Not sure what to write today. I need your prayers. I'm in such turmoil. My human side feels: mad, used, hurt.....USED....but mostly I've got this horrible pain in my stomach because of the pain that Jordan has caused Allen. I see the pain on Allen's face. Very rarely does Allen give words to his feelings...but when he called me yesterday and said.."I want to apologize to you for putting you through hell for three months." I knew that he was hurting. He feels like he's failed. At a time when we didn't have two dimes to rub together....we put out more than we had. We sacrificed giving our children christmas gifts.....to give Jordan the things that he needed. I'm not saying this for your sympathy. I'm saying it because it seems that every single STINKIN TIME Allen does something to try to do good.........or make money........or do something for God..........it always seems to end up getting thrown back in his face. I can hardly stand it............
Today....Allen is up and going at it again. He'll once again hide all his feelings, put on a brave face.....and go on with his work. He's once again the most patient, nice person to Jordan.....driving him all around.....bought him a sofa for his new apartment.....taking him to see about getting the new apartment. Allen will see to paying all his bills..........he'll try not to let me know...so it doesn't upset me......but he'll keep seeing about Jordan.
OK, I think I need to stop for now. Just please pray that all this will resolve. That I can heal the hurt feelings......that my physical body does not get sick.....it usually does when I get upset. I'm trying really hard to be OK........
Love you all......I wouldn't write all this except that I know you love us ......

yWorst Monday EVER..........................

I can hardly bring myself to post anything........this morning has been painful, infuriating, frustrating......and everything else.
I wake up about 8:30....go upstairs.....I notice that Allen and Jordan are gone. This is not unusual...sometimes Allen gets Jordan out of the house early so he doesn't wake me and Sophia up. I'm on the couch, Sophia wakes up....Owen comes in with her. Allen drives up alone......he walks in and says "Jordan is in town......looking for his own apartment". He said that Jordan was up at 5 am and wanting to go to town......he has decided he needs to live on his own. The air in the room is of: shock.........amazement............relief...........what??????????? ........what happened????.............
Allen doesn't want to talk much about it....so I just say...Ok, fine. Allen leaves. Allen does say.........."You just can't fix Crazy".............which made Owen laugh.....because Owen said.....Dad....."when I was a teenager you used to tell me......you just can't fix stupid!"
Allen leaves. A little while later.... Allen and Jordan come home. Jordan sits down and Allen has Jordan tell me.....I'm going to get an apartment in town. I say.....OK....I guess that's fine.
Allen tells Jordan to start filling out the apartment application and he leaves. After a few minutes...Jordan brings me the application and says...........I need you to fill this out for me. I want so badly to say..........You're a man.....you fill it out. Instead....I say...I'll write what you tell me. So I do.
I get up and start cleaning the kitchen. Jordan sits in the kitchen with me. I finally say.....how long have you been thinking of this??? Why did you let us spend $300 getting you a dog three days ago if you weren't going to live here????? Don't you owe us an explanation? He said........Allen forbide me from telling you. I said................OK,,,,, I bet I know....... you're Gay. He opened his eyes wide and looked at me. Said how did you know? I said...when I unpacked your junk...I found a gay pin. I said...it doesn't shock me. So what....are you planning on acting on it NOW????? He said that when Allen read from the bible the night before and it said it was wrong for men to have sex with men.....he had to bite his lips. He said he had gone to church's in town and they said it was not wrong.... I told him that there is only one bible and it says it is WRONG. He got very upset.....we argued and argued. I said.....so I guess it's your choice........live with us or be gay. He said.....do you think it's a choice? I said YES. God did not make you that way. He said....was it your choice to fall in love with Allen and marry him? I said.....YES......and for 32 years....I have chosen to stay married to him..... AND it was my choice to let you live with us for three months!!!!
We finally had to agree to disagree. Allen came home.....he and Jordan put a leash on Jordan's new dog.....and took her back to the pound. Jordan did not seem to care at all. Jordan got very very ugly with Allen in the car...at one point he threatened to get out of the car....Allen said...go ahead....and Jordan did. Allen pulled in a parkinglot and waited....until Jordan got back in. Now things are ugly ......Jordan has gone nuts.
The thing that breaks my heart the MOST.........is that Allen called me....and said...."I apologize to you...for putting you through Hell". Allen feels like an idiot, a failure. That's what kills me. Please keep us in your prayers....that we can get Jordan into an apartment asap. That we can close this chapter......and heal our hearts..................................
Both of us are torn up..................................

Sunday Night.......

Sunday night......I'm sitting on the couch.....I am wedged between Gracie (small chichucha) and Maggie(30 lb hound dog). If Allen walks in I will get him to take a picture. I spent a few hours before church wedged on a tiny corner of the couch that I usually LAY on.....except for some ODD reason......today....there was a 30 lb HOUND DOG stretched out......stem to stern....on the whole couch......snoring away.!!!!! Can you believe it???? LOL (most of you can....you know me)
Jordan and I watched Peter Pan this afternoon. I had taped it on the DVR. I've just about gotten used to watching movies with Jordan. This means watching TV with the volume about 3 times higher than is comfortable......so your ears are almost bleeding. Then Jordan wants to guess what each person in the story is going to do........OR.......ask what that meant........... and if you shoot him a dirty look...................you get the OCD......"I'm Sorry"...................but it's about 20 times in a row. Then when you fast forward thru the commercials if you even go one second into the movie.....EACH and EVERY TIME.......before you can BLINK........Jordan will say......"can you rewind it please?????"
So we got thru Peter Pan.....and rushed to church. Jordan was having trouble staying awake in church........then after church he ran out and got in the car before us. Oh great.....mood swing......... so Allen and I get in the car. It's dark and 10 degrees. Jordan asks us to take him to town and let him out so he can walk around!!!! We tell him that he will freeze to death....and no stores are open. He keeps insisting. We decide to drive into town and get something to eat.....but Jordan says he doesn't want to eat.....he wants to walk around...but won't tell us anything more. Halfway to town....he tells us nevermind!!! We go on into town...we drop him off at Barnes and Noble and we go down about 3 stores and eat in a little Italian place. He finally comes in and we head home. NOW he's ready to tell us what he's had in his head.........................he wanted to research writing his will!!!! Now this is a guy that has two dollars..... Needless to say.....it's been a long ride home. We listened....he talked and talked and talked. We're home....he and Allen talked more in the office......now Jordan is in bed....hope and pray he stays there.....Allen looks like he's been hit between the eyes with a 2 by 4....and he's going to bed. Owen and Sophia just came home...... I'm exhausted.....perhaps a nice bath......perhaps........tomorrow is monday.......here's hoping it's a goooood day.....

Getting Ready for Church

It's almost 4 pm and I get to sit down for a little while!! Owen just took Sophie over to visit her mom, Allen is up from his nap and at the computer getting his sermon for tonight...Jordan is devouring a plate of nachos in the recliner and Maggie (new dog) is asleep here on the couch next to me. I got up this morning relieved that I was not going to cook lunch....thinking all I had to do was get dressed, feed Sophia, get her dressed, feed Jordan, get them all in the car and get to church...easy right? HA!
I have now learned that I need to lay out my sunday clothes the night before.....I was planning on wearing the brand new sweater that Jordan bought me for my birthday. I could not find the thing ANYWHERE. Still can't. Sophie woke up....I scrambled eggs and fed her.....Jordan was a little hyper...so he was kind of talking a bunch.....Maggie is still not used to our house...so she was kind of walking around sniffing still. Allen had decreed last night that she could NOT get on the furniture......so every five seconds we were pulling a 30 lb dog off the couch or chair.....and yelling, No Maggie...No. And let me tell you....when you hear Jordan with a speech problem and hearing problem ...yelling....No Maggie No......over and over...... ................................................
I had bought Sophie the cutest little dress at Target for church. Then I could NOT find the drk. brown tights that matched the dress. I searched and searched. I finally realized that Owen must have loaned them to Diana and they were still over at her house. So she got put in a pair of black tights that did not match. Then Jordan decided to bring Maggie's water bowl and food bowl into the livingroom on the carpet.....so she would enjoy it more......... but when Maggie jumped off the couch...she landed in the bowls.....sending dry dog food ALLLLL over the floor....and a big bowl of water all over the wood floor....................................so then Jordan got all upset.......for those of you who don't know him.....he also has OCD...so when he says "I'm sorry"....he says it at LEAST 15 times.......... so while he says this over and over, he jumps up.....and takes a step and then falls down twisting his ankle (on the wet floor). Now here is a 300 lb boy screaming on the floor...... I'm thinking......it's the emergency room for us....!!!! I finally get him up and into a chair......and breathing. Believe it or not...when he calms down....he says he thinks he is ok..... so I go and get a towel, and broom and clean up the mess.
I now have to run out to the car.....which is frozen solid.....because it is 10 degrees.....and turn it on.......then back in to get Jordan and Sophie in their coats, hats, etc. After I get Sophia strapped in her carseat and her diaper bag in...I realize I forgot my coat. We get in the car.....I start backing out......I'm trying to take a breath.....and then Jordan wants to tell me a joke.............
Whew...................and on to church...............................................

PS.....I have since decided: the furniture is at least 10 years old.....I cannot take the extra pressure of dragging a dog off the couch/chairs every five minutes NOR hear Jordan yelling.... "GET DOWN MAGGIE.....GET DOWN" all the time. Plus...when Allen or Owen pull Maggie off the couch...Jordan gets upset and sometimes starts crying....thus making it more tense for me. SO BY MY DECREE: I will keep quilts on the couch.....Maggie will lay on the couch and sleep to her heart's content....... AND I WILL REMAIN SANE....!!!!! AMEN
(and Allen has agreed)

A Cold Saturday Night....

Seems to be a calm evening. Owen, Allen, Sophia and I are eating a bbq sandwich (chopped roast w/bbq sauce), left over corn and mandarin oranges. Jordan took a 30 min. nap..saying he was going to bed for the night...but he is now up again and eating a big sandwich ... of which he decided to put a bunch of whole kernel corn inside of. I predict a big mess. Maggie the new dog is wandering around...still a little unsure of where her place is. Bless her heart....we let her start sleeping on the couch...and today decided that she is going to shred them...so now she cannot get on the furniture.... poor thing. Allen and J. went this afternoon and bought a deluxe dog "trolley" to put Maggie out on when she wants to run outside. We also have a new long tie-out rope for the front door. Tomorrow...I will go to town and get her a KONG chew toy..... just for her..... Gracie is getting better with her. Still is terrified of getting trampled by her...but it's getting better. Maggie can't figure out the parrot...Fred. Today she would go in and look at him and then bark. Once while trying to sniff....Fred nearly got a piece of Maggie's nose.
We can't decide which medicine to put J. on. The one to help him with his weight.....does not help him sleep. One day we decide one way.....one day the other. Right now...we are on the weight control one.
I'm still trying to get over this cold. It is now in the cough....lots of drainage....going down in my chest. Still with the runny nose. I hate that. I thought maybe it was almost gone.
I'll have a busy morning tomorrow. I will take Sophia and Jordan to church. That is one hard thing to do!!! I bought Soph. a new little dress at Target the other day. I also bought her an adorable skirt and bodysuit. Pictures will be taken!! Owen said that Diana texted him and asked if Sophia hated her....that's what we are so thankful for....that Sophia is so young and won't remember this.
OK, enough of this..... night to all...........

Jan. 1....cont'd.......
Ha Ha. As you can see....1. I'm new at this blogging thing....2. You never know what is going to happen at my house these days!!! While I was writting the last blog....Maggie...the new dog (30 lbs) and Gracie my little dog (10 lbs) got in a sniffing match over my laptop.....and Maggie stepped on the laptop and killed it!
Let's see where was I? OK, you never know what's going to happen.....in the last hour.....I've cooked supper....roast, rice, gravy and corn. Owen has come in with Sophia (his precious 1 yr old daughter). Diana...Sophia's mother has just texted Owen and told him to come get her. She said that she cannot do the "baby thing" anymore. She just took Sophie to the pediatrician because she let Sophie eat diaper rash cream.......
Time span.............
Tried to put an over-tired Jordan to bed at 8:00Pm.....he can barely keep his eyes open....he's so exhausted. Two weeks ago the Dr. switched his meds because he was eating so much. This new med. is not going to work....it speeds his system up....it also does not control his moods as well. After 30 min. Jordan is back in the livingroom with me.....in the recliner saying he can't sleep. We have decided to go back on his old medicine tomorrow. I just looked over at him and he is asleep. LOL I have so many things to do to take care of him......1. contact Williams Pharmacy and get his breathing machine that is ready. He stops breathing at night while asleep... he hasn't used one in a year or so because the last foster home he was in....the kids would sneak up while he was asleep and turn the dials up.....and choke him so he just gave it back. 2. He needs hearing aids SO BAD......he has a pair now but they are 7 years old and he does not wear them....it will benefit us and him also. It is so annoying for him to ask us the same thing over and over and also he yells and is so loud all the time. He also mumbles to us...and we cannot hear what he is saying.....along with his speech problem. 3. He has bloodwork done once a month to regulate the strong meds he is on...... 4. he goes to the foot dr. Shall I go on.......???
How did I get into all of this???? LOL I didn't mean to go on and on.........

It's almost 9 pm on New Year's Day. I'm exhausted. I never even took a bath today....or brushed my hair. I vow to do that each morning....all these poor people who have to look at me all day...... Allen (grandad) is now sitting on the couch with Sophia and they are eating a chicken leg..... Owen is in the rocking chair watching "Rockie"...Jordan is in the recliner...awake again!! and the dogs are sniffing each other!! I think I'll just end this rambling and go take a nice long hot bath..................wonder if I can get by with that...or get interrupted......we'll see!!

January 1, 2010

WOW......what a day to create a blog!!! LOL I thought by now we'd all be flying around in spaceships like the Jetsons!! Guess not....Allen still has his cruddy old truck that drinks gasoline....and I still have my beloved Buick that Allen still steals every chance he gets (which is everytime he walks out the door). No spaceships here!!! LOL
I thought this would be a great way to journal my life this year......you see....my life...our life.....has changed DRASTICALLY in the past few months. Here's the story: (at least my side of it!)
It was about a month before Halloween.....one of Allen's older ladies...that he does odd jobs for....has been volunteering at the Mental Health Center. She was a "friend" and a "payee" to one of the patients. As she is getting older....she asked Allen to take over being the payee duties. I think Allen had actually moved Jordan to a new place for Mary in the past year....so he knew of him. Allen (of COURSE) agreed to take the responsibility. I don't really even remember him telling me that he was doing this.......of course it could be that the other people he sees about and have seen about over the years have gotten him in deep trouble with me!!! LOL
One day he told me about Jordan...just vaguely....and asked what I thought about bringing him over to the house during the day...etc. I thought about it for about 3 seconds....and said....ah....no thanks...... (I was thinking....Allen is NEVER here during the day...EVER..... I am here alone....we don't live in town....I don't need a 30 yr old mental patient whom I don't know......Man.....out here alone with me......... So Allen just agreed......never said a word.
Two days later.......at lunchtime.....here comes Allen with this big teddybear of a man/boy. His name was Jordan. Jordan ate with us....was very shy, quiet.....scared. Very polite.
He brought Jordan home the next day also.......and the next..........
About three days later....Allen and I were in the car going to town...and I thought about Jordan. I asked him....."tell me about Jordan......what's his story?"
The rest is history......... but first...I guess I should tell you Jordan's history.
Jordan was born to a teenage unwed mother and given up at birth. She was and is a drug and alcohol addict. A wealthy couple adopted Jordan....they kept him for five years.....all the while realizing the major mental and physical problems he had. The adoptive mother got preg. and they did not want Jordan anymore. They gave him away...the government would not let them just do that...so they let them put him in foster care. He was raised in many different foster homes and group homes. Jordan is now 30 years old. He is the same age as our oldest son, Owen. We put his mental age at about 8 years old....although on some things he proves to be much smarter. He can read pretty well. His writing is not very good. His attention span at things he doesn't like or care about is about 5 minutes. He loves cartoons, kids movies. He does not like crafts. He is big and slow and clumsy. He calls himself a big teddybear. The worst way to hurt Jordan is to tell him that you are afraid of him..... When he started spending the days with us.....then sleeping in the extra room....he was so very open to anything that I wanted him to do. He was a little unkept....had a funny smell.... He only had a couple pair of pants and a couple shirts. He had a pair of flip flops. We have been fortunate that he wears a 2 XL shirt which is what Allen wears.....so they share clothes. We've bought about 6 pair of pants....bought him socks and shoes. I saw him bend over one day and got "mooned" .....it was then that I discovered he was not wearing underwear! When I was washing his few clothes....he got real embarrassed....and said he had to tell me something...... he stood there for about five minutes.....finally I said.....just tell me....turn around backwards if you need to!! He finally said...I don't wear underwear! I said......I already figured that out!!! I said.....you need to start wearing underwear....OK? I said...it keeps your jeans cleaner. He smiled and said....OK.
That is just one of the many many hurdles that we have jumped!! We've done it with smiles, love, laughter and a little embarrassment...but we've done it!! I now cut his fingernails for him...I do NOT cut his toenails....the dr. does that! Allen and I have both taken him to his doctors.....and we are both on all of his medical papers now.....and helping him with his needs.

AS I went back and read this I realized that somewhere in the first blog.....I needed to put an explanation of why I titled this: Be Careful of What You Pray For:
It seems like a lifetime ago but I think it was only mere months ago. I was alone here at the house. I was down to one dog...little Gracie. Allen was busy as usual with his thousands of things a day that he does. I don't even try to keep up with what he does.....he doesn't even try anymore to keep me informed. Anyway....in the summer...when it doesn't get dark till 9 or 10 pm Allen does not even come home till then. To make the story short.....I used to spend my evenings .... and sometimes my days kind of laying around the house....kind of feeling sorry for myself....feeling lonely....forgotten.....alone. The girls live in Texas now.....so I kind of felt like nobody needed me. I had gotten in the habit of praying that the Lord would give me something to do with my life. That He would give me something with purpose...
Then along came.........JORDAN.............................................................LOL!!!!!
Thus......the title!!!
I promise you....this is a blessing to us. It is also one of hardest, most demanding, patience sapping, relationship sucking, money eating, sleep depravating things we've EVER done. And we've raised three children!!!!
I do believe that the Lord has brought Jordan to us. In our small church....we have three senior citizen couples who have sons like Jordan. I believe that Allen and I are meant to walk in their shoes. When we took Jordan on our Christmas trip to Texas last week. I sat in the back seat for the first hundred miles and was kind of sad and sour. I was thinking......will Allen and I ever get to take a road trip together again? We love to take road trips together...... Then it dawned on me...... Did the other parents EVER get to do that????? How selfish was I being??? Those people have had the heart break and sadness and agony since the day of their child's birth.....we've just had Jordan for three months...... what was I complaining about???
Also....I've been priviledged to these fun trips all my married life. This was the first time Jordan had ever gotten to take a road trip..... who got to decide that? Was it fair??
I hope that kind of explains my blog. Or not...it at least explains why I start out clear....and then ramble....I'm tired....very very tired..... but I want to remember this. I want to be able to look back on this and laugh. I laugh everyday. If I don't laugh....I cry. laughing is more fun....