Getting Ready for Church

It's almost 4 pm and I get to sit down for a little while!! Owen just took Sophie over to visit her mom, Allen is up from his nap and at the computer getting his sermon for tonight...Jordan is devouring a plate of nachos in the recliner and Maggie (new dog) is asleep here on the couch next to me. I got up this morning relieved that I was not going to cook lunch....thinking all I had to do was get dressed, feed Sophia, get her dressed, feed Jordan, get them all in the car and get to church...easy right? HA!
I have now learned that I need to lay out my sunday clothes the night before.....I was planning on wearing the brand new sweater that Jordan bought me for my birthday. I could not find the thing ANYWHERE. Still can't. Sophie woke up....I scrambled eggs and fed her.....Jordan was a little hyper...so he was kind of talking a bunch.....Maggie is still not used to our house...so she was kind of walking around sniffing still. Allen had decreed last night that she could NOT get on the furniture......so every five seconds we were pulling a 30 lb dog off the couch or chair.....and yelling, No Maggie...No. And let me tell you....when you hear Jordan with a speech problem and hearing problem ...yelling....No Maggie No......over and over...... ................................................
I had bought Sophie the cutest little dress at Target for church. Then I could NOT find the drk. brown tights that matched the dress. I searched and searched. I finally realized that Owen must have loaned them to Diana and they were still over at her house. So she got put in a pair of black tights that did not match. Then Jordan decided to bring Maggie's water bowl and food bowl into the livingroom on the carpet.....so she would enjoy it more......... but when Maggie jumped off the couch...she landed in the bowls.....sending dry dog food ALLLLL over the floor....and a big bowl of water all over the wood floor....................................so then Jordan got all upset.......for those of you who don't know him.....he also has OCD...so when he says "I'm sorry"....he says it at LEAST 15 times.......... so while he says this over and over, he jumps up.....and takes a step and then falls down twisting his ankle (on the wet floor). Now here is a 300 lb boy screaming on the floor...... I'm thinking......it's the emergency room for us....!!!! I finally get him up and into a chair......and breathing. Believe it or not...when he calms down....he says he thinks he is ok..... so I go and get a towel, and broom and clean up the mess.
I now have to run out to the car.....which is frozen solid.....because it is 10 degrees.....and turn it on.......then back in to get Jordan and Sophie in their coats, hats, etc. After I get Sophia strapped in her carseat and her diaper bag in...I realize I forgot my coat. We get in the car.....I start backing out......I'm trying to take a breath.....and then Jordan wants to tell me a joke.............
Whew...................and on to church...............................................

PS.....I have since decided: the furniture is at least 10 years old.....I cannot take the extra pressure of dragging a dog off the couch/chairs every five minutes NOR hear Jordan yelling.... "GET DOWN MAGGIE.....GET DOWN" all the time. Plus...when Allen or Owen pull Maggie off the couch...Jordan gets upset and sometimes starts crying....thus making it more tense for me. SO BY MY DECREE: I will keep quilts on the couch.....Maggie will lay on the couch and sleep to her heart's content....... AND I WILL REMAIN SANE....!!!!! AMEN
(and Allen has agreed)